The power of keeping quiet
One of the values which I find crucial in HR is discretion. Not only because of data privacy reasons defined by law, but also as a general rule of thumb.
In Human Resources, we deal with people every day. People in groups, people as individuals, people with very different backgrounds and needs. It is therefore necessary to speak about individual needs and issues, meaning: we talk about people - a lot. And in different settings: within HR, with people managers, with the management, etc.
Information can thus spread easily, if we don’t choose our words and communication partners wisely.
It lies in human nature that people want to share. And that they are attracted by flashy news and sensation.
Sometimes, when I wonder why a certain information spread so unbelievably quickly, I notice that the mere act of talking about it - the process itself - makes people feel good. And it is more about personality than for example hierarchy whether people talk or keep an information to themselves.
And while there are some who won’t even wait for five minutes to rush out and share with whomever crosses their way, there are others who feel obliged to share when being asked by certain persons or when put under pressure. Rare are those who keep quiet - unlimitedly.
Why should we think about this topic, even when working outside of HR?
First of all, because every single person has an influence on an organization’s culture and forms it with their presence and their words. From the CEO to the cleaning staff. “I don’t matter” is untrue. Always. And in every constellation. We all matter regarding the culture. No matter our hierarchy level, our scope of responsibility, our age, our seniority with the company, etc. As soon as we enter an organization, we are part of it and its culture - actively and passively.
Every single action and every single word will form and change the organization’s culture. And this means that no culture is constant. It is fluid and changes with every day passing - just as life does.
A healthy organization therefore seeks to shape its culture by creating a balance between active communication and discretion.
Being too discrete could result in not wanting to share with colleagues or the workforce in general. There could be a lack of communication and not sufficient interaction. Employees might lack a vision and direction or feel that important information is kept from them.
A couple of weeks ago, I came to discuss about discretion with an executive. And while I fiercely talked about the importance of discretion, she shared an interesting experience with me. She said, "Agnes, there is a limit to discretion, and I have learned my lesson." I got curious and asked her about it. She happened to be discrete with a highly confidential topic - at the cost of her own team. Looking back, she would do it differently and shared the following leadership advice: "Sometimes it is more important to protect your team and alert them about an upcoming change, so that they are not taken by total surprise."
Being too open and communicative, on the other hand, could result in a chitchatty environment with no control over what is shared and what should not be shared. While some might say that total transparency is great, I believe that it is almost impossible to share the same information and facts in a meaningful way which benefits all participants. It will be more likely that information is modified a little bit with every person transmitting it (just like in the children’s game Chinese Whispers). Or that employees feel unwell because of personal data being shared too freely or when comparing between colleagues or departments.
Moreover, information is input and we all have to cope with the input we receive. Sometimes it can be too much input. Sometimes it is the wrong input or inadequate communication style and we might end up in fear or worries.
This said, the question is: what is under our control and can be influenced by our mindset and behavior?
We all have the power to decide:
What we share. And what not.
How we share it.
With whom we share it.
How the information will benefit us and the company.
How to react when rumors or inappropriate information is being shared by someone else.
If we stay and listen to gossip and unprofessional talk. Or if we walk away from it.
Never underestimate the power of small decisions and actions in your daily business.
Prefer meaningful communication over meaningless gossip.
To all leaders and HR: Talk about it. Talk about what you observe. Talk about why sharing or omitting is meaningful in your environment. Choose what is right, not what feels easy or comfortable.
That is what culture is about. Your actions matter!
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