Shoutout to women especially:
Resist the urge to explain or even defend yourself.
In a world dominated by men, women are still raised to be submissive. To be polite. To excuse themselves. To please.
And when entering business life, they are oftentimes surrounded by confident men and need to compete all of a sudden.
This can be quite challenging.
Over many years, I thought that I would be more successful, if I explained myself. Especially if my way of thinking and working did not match my boss’s behavior, I needed to justify why I felt or acted differently.
Stopping myself was so, so difficult (and sometimes still is).
Shutting up.
Not giving a reason for my behavior.
Not seeing the necessity to excuse my way of being and thinking through some kind of action.
Really shutting up and enduring the friction.
Accepting that they would not understand my view at all times. Or even most of the time.
Trusting that we would both be fine and that it was not always possible or necessary to be on the same page.
Understanding that I would even get more respect when sticking to my view with confidence instead of seeking consensus and harmony only from my side.
Shoutout to my male colleagues: Oh yes, it is possible to give in without losing your respect. And I would always recommend a strong communication, which includes that you sometimes explain yourself - not to be defensive, but to deepen the relationship and get to know the other human being better.
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